Teaching

So, as a first year teacher about 6 weeks into my first year, I am beginning to discover how teaching can be extremely rewarding, but it is also the type of job that I may NEVER master. I have heard from so many experienced teachers that you are always a learner, even when you have been teaching for 15 years... (unless of course you become like those teachers we all dreaded in high school who should have just retired 10 years early because they can hardly call what they do teaching)... and I am beginning to see how true that may be. As the perfectionist that I am, it is so difficult to realize that I can always do better than what I am doing. There are days when I know I definitely need to do better, but even on days when things go well, there is more that can be done and better ways to teach. This past week I became pretty overwhelmed with this idea of never being fully satisfied with how I'm teaching. Am I always going to feel like I'm not doing enough? Even after I've been teaching for 6 or 10 years?! Part of me doesn't know if I can handle that feeling all the time. This week I struggled some because I have felt like I'm just beginning to take some time to breathe, but when I take a step back and look at my teaching, I'm not satisfied and feel like I'm not doing enough. It can be a pretty defeating feeling.

But last night I was talking and praying with a good friend here, Melinda, and we realized that I am placing ALL of my worth in my ability to teach. I want so much to teach my students effectively and in a way that they can enjoy, which can be a good thing except for the fact that when I don't succeed in that, I fall apart. So it was a much needed wake-up call last night.. realizing that I am placing my confidence and my worth in my abilities, not in who God says I am through the power of Christ in me. According to John 14:8-14, it does not matter that I don't feel capable.. It was God who did His work in Jesus, and now it is God doing His work in me through Jesus. That is not something to take lightly... because of that power, I can find my confidence in Him and trust that He will equip me to do the work He has called me here to do. 

On another note.. my whole family was on vacation at the beach this week, including Jay, Melody, & baby Ella, so it was hard to not be there with them. We had the chance to skype the other night so I could see Ella and she is getting SO big. But I know a lot of people were praying for me this week, that it would be a good week at school and that I would be comforted despite being away from them. I was able to have little blessings this week to get me through and confirm to me that this is where I am supposed to be... like hugs from my students that can just make my entire day, and having a lot of fun with the staff who is really becoming like family here. Here are some pictures of our staff volleyball game the other day.. you'd be amazed how much trash talking can go on when there's some competition between a bunch of Christian teachers!

Looks like a pretty nice shot, right? Well... 

...until it went over the net into the neighbor's yard. We honestly tried knocking on their door for a while, but there comes a point when resuming the game is just too important, so the guys went into stealth mode to retrieve them :) 

And here are some pictures I have been meaning to post for a while now.. my awesome 9th grade class! They were working for several days to build parachutes to protect an egg dropped from the 2nd story of our school and all the parachutes were successful! Told you they were awesome...

Moment of truth...

Here are some videos of the drop...